Well, unbeknownst to me, I was three weeks pregnant at the writing of my last post:) I'll be 9 weeks on Saturday and we are so excited!!!! We had a sonogram today and everything looks perfect! We saw the little flutter of a heart beat and even got to hear it! I almost jumped off the table when I heard that sound...it's been too long!! I completely wasn't expecting to hear it this soon, but I'm so glad we got to!! Our due date is New Year's Eve:) So we'll either try to have a tax deduction or the first baby of 2012:) We'll see!
Continued prayers are appreciated! I'm crazy tired and not too sick, just kind of comes in waves. I feel worse with this pregnancy than I did with Emma, so Stu's convinced it's a boy. Although he also thought the baby looked like ET in the sono this morning, so what does he know:):) I think timing-wise we should be able to have the big reveal sono the last week of July or so, right around Fish Camp. I'm just riding out the sick phase so I can really enjoy the rest of the pregnancy. We're about 98% sure this will be our last reproductive attempt:) Four pregnancies in 3 years is quite enough for me!! God's in control, but that's what we're thinking currently.
That's all I've got for now, just keep praying that this little baby will keep growing and stay healthy! And that I'll get my energy back so Emma can have a mommy for the next 7 months!! Speaking of Emma, she's doing great! We're trying to explain to her about the "little bitty baby in mommy's tummy" and why she can't use me as a trampoline anymore:) She's not quite getting it, but she's getting closer. She's a sweetie and getting bigger everyday!!
Thanks for checking in and keep the prayers coming! Have a great summer!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
All is Well
Just wanted to drop in and let everyone know that my baby girl is two years old and I have officially been given the all clear from the oncologist!! No more appointments and I'm turned back over to my regular ob!!! He even said that I wouldn't be considered "high risk." if we get pregnant again! We'll just be monitored more closely, more sonos and blood work than a normal person, etc. But still, that's great news!!! I can't believe it's all done:) I sat in my recliner the other night and read back through all the posts...we've come so far. I know I've been a complete blogger slacker lately, and by lately I mean at least six months, but I'm so glad I set this whole thing up. I'd forgotten some things. And, if you didn't notice, I'm pretty funny when I'm unbelievably bitter:):) There was some good stuff in there!! Stu and I are moving on and are sticking with our decision to try for one more baby. Please pray for peace, a calm spirit, patience and that God's will be done. Especially if said will includes a quick pregnancy with no complications and a guarantee that we actually get to bring a baby home this time!! It's not too much to ask, right??? :) Emma Jewel is TWO YEARS OLD!!!!!!! It's mind boggling to even think about!! She's counting to 14 these days, singing songs, playing dress up, mastering iPhone use, learning Spanish, driving the car, perfecting calculus...well, you get the idea! Gifted, friends, gifted!! No is her favorite word and the magnitude of fit throwing is daily growing greater, but we're working through all that:) She's still adorable and those blue eyes seem to get bigger everyday:) We had a birthday party for her last weekend and it was a hit!! I felt cheated and like I'd cheated her last year that I was sick and couldn't throw her a big first birthday party. I'm fully aware that she won't remember this stuff, but I will. I went a little overboard for her party this year, but Stu let me because I pulled the "cancer" card:) We had a bounce house and all kinds of fun stuff!! She played so hard and laughed and laughed:):) I loved it!!!! I'm so thankful for her. Everyday something else about her changes. She's growing up second by second!! Stu and I are busy wrapping up the end of the school year and I'm heading full force into summer stuff at the church. I'm trying not to be overwhelmed, and I'm failing miserably:) It'll all get done...it always does. Well, I'm off to bed. Hopefully, soon I'll have some exciting news and y'all can help pray me through it! Hope everyone is doing well:)
Friday, January 14, 2011
Lightning Fast...
Happy 21 months, Emma Jewel!!!
21 reasons why your Mommy loves you:)
1. You fought your way out of the battlefield that is my womb, and we actually got to see your sweet face!!
2. Your beautiful blue eyes that light up when you see me and your Daddy.
3. The way you go half out of your mind with excitement when you hear the Dora theme song:)
4. How you've become quite the parrot, imitating and learning as you go.
5. The way you are starting to let me cuddle with you.
6. Your sweet, slobbery kisses:)
7. How you want to "reat" books all the time...you're going to be valedictorian! Scholarships, baby!!
8. How you sing in the car and dance when I turn to look at you:)
9. I love your sweet, toothy grin.
10. I love how I can make you laugh until you can't hardly breathe!
11. I love that God chose to bless me with you, knowing that there would be others that would be taken.
12. I love the smell of your hair after a "bap", lavender shampoo is awesome!
13. I love how every brown meat is a "cheese dog" to you:)
14. How you've started to say "eye-ugh-oo" when we tell you we love you.
15. The way you are so sweet with other babies. I really hope we can make you a big sister one day!
16. How you tell every person in a restaurant "bye bye" when they stand up to leave (and you don't stop til they smile!)
17. The way we can't walk through a Wal-Mart without making someone's day...you've thought you were in a parade since day one:)
18. I love that your hair is almost the same color as mine!!!
19. I love that you've started to like holding my hand, even when we're just walking around the house:)
20. I love that you like to twirl my hair when you drink your milk and that you twirl yours when you're going to sleep.
21. I love that our family isn't complete without you.
Emma Jewel, I'm so lucky to be your momma. Be patient with me as I heal and try to forget all the cranky, moodiness that has been the last 12 months. It's going to get better, baby girl. I love you!!
21 reasons why your Mommy loves you:)
1. You fought your way out of the battlefield that is my womb, and we actually got to see your sweet face!!
2. Your beautiful blue eyes that light up when you see me and your Daddy.
3. The way you go half out of your mind with excitement when you hear the Dora theme song:)
4. How you've become quite the parrot, imitating and learning as you go.
5. The way you are starting to let me cuddle with you.
6. Your sweet, slobbery kisses:)
7. How you want to "reat" books all the time...you're going to be valedictorian! Scholarships, baby!!
8. How you sing in the car and dance when I turn to look at you:)
9. I love your sweet, toothy grin.
10. I love how I can make you laugh until you can't hardly breathe!
11. I love that God chose to bless me with you, knowing that there would be others that would be taken.
12. I love the smell of your hair after a "bap", lavender shampoo is awesome!
13. I love how every brown meat is a "cheese dog" to you:)
14. How you've started to say "eye-ugh-oo" when we tell you we love you.
15. The way you are so sweet with other babies. I really hope we can make you a big sister one day!
16. How you tell every person in a restaurant "bye bye" when they stand up to leave (and you don't stop til they smile!)
17. The way we can't walk through a Wal-Mart without making someone's day...you've thought you were in a parade since day one:)
18. I love that your hair is almost the same color as mine!!!
19. I love that you've started to like holding my hand, even when we're just walking around the house:)
20. I love that you like to twirl my hair when you drink your milk and that you twirl yours when you're going to sleep.
21. I love that our family isn't complete without you.
Emma Jewel, I'm so lucky to be your momma. Be patient with me as I heal and try to forget all the cranky, moodiness that has been the last 12 months. It's going to get better, baby girl. I love you!!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Happy New Year!
Friends, I'm a brand new person. We had a great Christmas with family and ended our break with a "Mommy/Daddy only" trip to Dallas for New Year's! It was what both Stu and I needed to end this CRAZY year! Emma stayed with Nana and PawPaw in Eustace and we hit the road!!! We missed her, but I gotta be honest, it was stinkin' glorious to wake up, not just one but two mornings, whenever the heck I wanted!!!! Ahhhhh:)
I have purposed in my heart that I am healed and moving on. No more anger. No more bitterness. No more fighting with God. It's 2011 and anything's possible. Stu bought me a chronological Bible for Christmas and I am determined to stick with the plan to read it all the way through this year. If you knew how dark I've been inside for the past year or so, you'd know just how big a deal that is. Music is about the only way I'd allow the Lord to speak to me and heal me. Prayer was tough and reading the Bible was even harder. Those of you that attend Immanuel, know this, as I've yet to make it two consecutive Sundays without flat losing it during worship! There is no more naked and authentic place for me than on that stage Sunday mornings. I can run and hide all week long, but He always finds me there. I believe with all my heart that God never abandoned me and that He has always had my purpose in place. I know that ultimately the events of this past year have and will continue to give Him glory. I have repeated these things out loud and in my head like a mantra and they are taking finally root in my heart.
Who knows what this year will bring. I hope, with all that is in within me, that 2011 brings a healthy pregnancy and one last baby that we actually get to bring home. I hope for no complications and a 20 minute and pain-free delivery:) I hope that Emma is out of diapers and knows how to put others in them by the time this happens:) I hope that Stu and I grow closer to each other and to the Lord. I hope that we can initiate the get-out-of-debt plan we came up with this fall and that it will be effective. I hope that those that I love are healthy, happy and unimaginably blessed. I hope that God would revive my passion for my ministry and give me fresh ideas and guidance. Hope is a powerful thing. I believe it's what helps us abandon everything that holds us back, grab ahold of God and just cling to Him for dear life.
Have hope this year. Believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that your hand is in His, and He's not letting go. No matter where you go and what you go through, He has promised to stay with you. That, my friends, is what hope is all about.
I have purposed in my heart that I am healed and moving on. No more anger. No more bitterness. No more fighting with God. It's 2011 and anything's possible. Stu bought me a chronological Bible for Christmas and I am determined to stick with the plan to read it all the way through this year. If you knew how dark I've been inside for the past year or so, you'd know just how big a deal that is. Music is about the only way I'd allow the Lord to speak to me and heal me. Prayer was tough and reading the Bible was even harder. Those of you that attend Immanuel, know this, as I've yet to make it two consecutive Sundays without flat losing it during worship! There is no more naked and authentic place for me than on that stage Sunday mornings. I can run and hide all week long, but He always finds me there. I believe with all my heart that God never abandoned me and that He has always had my purpose in place. I know that ultimately the events of this past year have and will continue to give Him glory. I have repeated these things out loud and in my head like a mantra and they are taking finally root in my heart.
Who knows what this year will bring. I hope, with all that is in within me, that 2011 brings a healthy pregnancy and one last baby that we actually get to bring home. I hope for no complications and a 20 minute and pain-free delivery:) I hope that Emma is out of diapers and knows how to put others in them by the time this happens:) I hope that Stu and I grow closer to each other and to the Lord. I hope that we can initiate the get-out-of-debt plan we came up with this fall and that it will be effective. I hope that those that I love are healthy, happy and unimaginably blessed. I hope that God would revive my passion for my ministry and give me fresh ideas and guidance. Hope is a powerful thing. I believe it's what helps us abandon everything that holds us back, grab ahold of God and just cling to Him for dear life.
Have hope this year. Believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that your hand is in His, and He's not letting go. No matter where you go and what you go through, He has promised to stay with you. That, my friends, is what hope is all about.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Light at the End of the Tunnel
We had our second to last doctor's appointment at Schumpert on Wednesday:) My blood levels are normal and everything is still looking good. My last appointment is April 4, 2011!!! Just have to make it until then and WE'RE DONE WITH THE MOLAR PREGNANCY!!!! I can't tell you how much weight was lifted off when we left that office with an official end date.
It's been a rough several months. I think the grief and exhaustion from everything that happened this spring just hit. I had a week or two of random uncontrollable crying. I was just so tired all the time. I took a week off from work and I stopped taking the birth control pills that were a daily, painful reminder that I was trapped in this sickness until April. I accepted the fact that my life is not my own and that God's plan is perfect, even when it hurts so bad I can hardly stand it. It still hurts. Every time I raise my left arm, I will have a scar to remind me of the child that I lost and the cancer that loss caused.
One of the most important things I've learned through this is that my husband is the strongest, most sensitive and amazing man on the planet. He was there for every appointment, every chemo treatment and every tear. God has blessed me more than I will ever deserve with this man. I love you, Stuart Andrew Musick. I've also learned how important it is to have a strong support system. Our family, friends and church have made this whole process bearable. We are so thankful to each one of you.
Knowledge and faith that God is in control is the only way we can not only survive, but flourish, in this life. His plan is perfect. I've gone round and round with Him throughout my life, especially this year, but I am not in control. He has my best at heart.
I'm still going through the emotional cycle of this whole situation, but it's getting better. A whole lot better now that the end is in sight!! Thanks for the prayers and support through all of this! Hope you are all doing well:)
It's been a rough several months. I think the grief and exhaustion from everything that happened this spring just hit. I had a week or two of random uncontrollable crying. I was just so tired all the time. I took a week off from work and I stopped taking the birth control pills that were a daily, painful reminder that I was trapped in this sickness until April. I accepted the fact that my life is not my own and that God's plan is perfect, even when it hurts so bad I can hardly stand it. It still hurts. Every time I raise my left arm, I will have a scar to remind me of the child that I lost and the cancer that loss caused.
One of the most important things I've learned through this is that my husband is the strongest, most sensitive and amazing man on the planet. He was there for every appointment, every chemo treatment and every tear. God has blessed me more than I will ever deserve with this man. I love you, Stuart Andrew Musick. I've also learned how important it is to have a strong support system. Our family, friends and church have made this whole process bearable. We are so thankful to each one of you.
Knowledge and faith that God is in control is the only way we can not only survive, but flourish, in this life. His plan is perfect. I've gone round and round with Him throughout my life, especially this year, but I am not in control. He has my best at heart.
I'm still going through the emotional cycle of this whole situation, but it's getting better. A whole lot better now that the end is in sight!! Thanks for the prayers and support through all of this! Hope you are all doing well:)
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