Time in the Desert

"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt. 'In that day,' declares the Lord, 'you will call me 'my husband;' you will no longer call me 'my master.'" Hosea 2:14-16

Hosea is my favorite book of the Bible. This is quite possibly the most messed up love story you could ever imagine yet it is so beautifully orchestrated it could only come from the mind of God. If you've never read it straight through, I encourage you to do so.

I've felt like the Lord has been leading me through the desert for sometime now. I don't have a testimony of drugs, sex, alcohol or other self-destructive behaviors that some have. I was brought up in a godly home and blessed with an incredible support system. I didn't go to college and go nuts, I found an incredible church, got active in the lives of teenagers and formed meaningful relationships that I still enjoy today.

My thing has always been planning out my life my way and then begging like a madwoman for God to GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!!!!

I mean, who better to know what's best for me than me, right?!? There was a specific relationship that I was certain I had to have to be a complete person many, many years ago. I was borderline obsessed with the idea of this relationship working out and lost who I was in the process of pursuing it. After the Lord almost literally slapped me across the face to get my attention, He showed me that nothing could be deadlier in my life than for me to get what I wanted. The following years were filled with wretched, cursed, horrible singleness:) that not only gave me time and clarity to find ME again but also opened my eyes to the calling God had for my life. During this time I cried out to God to send me someone, ANYONE, to love me and take care of me. He said no. I threw myself into my job, which to anyone watching, was great..."look at the passion Lauren has for her ministry." While there was definitely passion there for the families and the church, there was a whole lot of fuel coming from the absolute fear of being alone. God showed me a lot during that time.

It was through that desert time that He showed Himself as Provider, Sustainer, Husband and Friend. It was because He brought me through, by His side, that I can fully appreciate and love the man He gave me to spend the rest of this life with. And Stu thinks I'm crazy NOW?!?!? If he only knew!!!

The Lord blessed me more than I will ever deserve when He brought me Stuart Andrew Musick. Looking back, I know that the desert was mandatory for preparing me to be the best wife I could be for him. I had to go through all of the heartache so that the Lord could prepare me for the gift He was preparing in His time.

I feel like it's happening again. God is walking me through this specific event because He has a gift on the other side. He is showing Himself faithful because there is someone on the other side of this that we will be able to help. I feel like the Lord has told me that Stu and I were chosen for this trial for a reason. Please don't read this as arrogance. I have no delusions of being worthy of Him using me in any capacity because of my own strengths. Lord, help us all!!! I feel like this time of brokenness will be restored and I hope and pray that others can be restored because of it! I look forward to the "Valley of Achor" becoming a "door of hope!"

I ask that as God shows us where He's leading us, you would pray that we get it right the first time!! This is not a lesson that I want to have to go through multiple times to get it figured out! Pray that we will be faithful.